What did you learn about relating with yourself when you were growing up? 

These things are often unspoken, such as the idea that the best way to get along with everyone is to ignore yourself and focus on others. When someone did give you some overt guidance, it was likely a bit harsh. 

Some examples could be, “Suck it up, Buttercup,” or, “Put on your big girl panties.” Each of these messages lets you know that you need to discount your feelings, fears or need for help. Ouch! 

Your view of yourself shifts and can often take a negative flavor. Your inner critic becomes strong and can overrun your inner life.

When the unconscious becomes conscious, you gain insight!

Unconscious emotions, thoughts and relational patterns have a much greater impact than what we consciously notice. It takes so much energy to deal with all of that and you likely feel tired, frustrated, unsatisfied or stuck.

By bringing this new awareness to light, you will be able to make decisions that feel kinder, more loving, and definitely more respectful. Imagine how you will feel different when tenderness toward yourself leads your inner experience. 

Doesn’t it seem important to increase self-awareness?

The more aware you are, the more choices you have!

This self-relationship red flags checklist will be enlightening to anyone, even to those who’ve been working on themselves for years.

Included with the checklist are an optional self-scoring quiz as well as journaling prompts to jumpstart your healing. They will help you consider your current self-relationship patterns and begin to look at what could be different. When you see yourself as beautiful, whole, likable and worthy, your whole perception shifts.